thats cheating.

so. this dude that always pops up in my life for the past two years. we sext, even though he's got a gf but i never think of sexting as a problem, its like porn...right? at least to me. phone sex... I felt guilty after we did that once. THAT was way too personal. He's been dating this girl for a year. I try not to get involved and to leave them alone but it doesn't help even if we delete each others numbers since he MEMORIZED mine. then he has the nerve to expect me not to be having sex with other people. you can't break up with your gf but i have to sit here patiently waiting for you all pure and shit?? FUCK THAT. why does it all have to be up to him? I just want to get this sexual tension out of the way, fuck and move on with it!! But I don't want to be the whore who destroyed his relationship. I honestly have been very supportive of this relationship and even told him I didn't want to intervene. He just has some stupid hold over me that I cannot resist.

Please don't think I'm a horrible person random readers :(

I is not a homewrecker!!

true story.

One learns a lot from being the single friend. You get to hear all your friends complain about their significant other. Years of this experience has led me to become the sought out friend with the best relationship advice....who is always single. I let my girl friends know when they are being irrational and absurd or translate what their guy means.  I let my guy friends know when they are being douches or even translate what their girlfriends mean. I'm the golden egg of advice. When they don't like what I have to say they go: "oh cuz you have sooo much experience with relationships"...you know, that hurts! I have to sit and listen to you bitch about your life and you come to me for advice, knowing I give good advice, and insult me! Rude. Now go to couple's counseling, because I'm going to start charging.

mystic pizza.

I was watching mystic pizza and what Bill said to JoJo was right. She was only showing love for his dick! I know how that is. I friendzone the good guys and pine for the undateable ones.

Any mention of love, relationships or commitment and you can bet I'll be running far, far away. But then I spend my nights lying in bed, waiting to fall asleep fantasizing about a guy in a relationship. Who likes the idea of me as a nice option down the road. WTF is that??

I know how disgusting that is. I know how his mind games work, but they work. I don't know why. I forget about him then out of no where he's pushing his foot back in the door I was closing. Do I just fuck all these other guys waiting for him to sweep me off my feet? I'm being dumb, missing out on chances that I may never have again. I tell myself I will ignore his texts, his calls, his flirting...but I never do, I never can. And the damn ball is always in his court. It is annoying as hell.

bunny day

Happy Zombie Jesus Day! (I may go to hell for that).

Spent the day drinking beer at the baseball game. I couldn't go home for Easter, my parents didn't even call...I feel the love.

Well. Praise ridiculously photogenic Jesus. Cheers.

listen up chicas.

Beyonce dated, then got married, then got pregnant. Be a lady.

Put your boobs back in your shirt. Get your butt off the sink. Smile instead of doing that duck face. Put your middle finger down.

Now let us see how many respectable guys like your picture because you are beautiful. Not because you look like an easy access sloot. 

You want respect? Give yourself some.

foot in my mouth.

Well. I put my foot in my mouth the other day. UPS guy knocked on the door and upon looking at the box he was delivering just let the words: "Wow, that is a big package" slip right out of my mouth. It seemed like the beginning of a porno when he replied with " Yeah it is"

 and a wink...cue the nervous giggle and slowly backing back into my apartment to hide from my second hand embarrassment.

How is it that I can function in society? haha